Intruder Allert

     It was a warm and sultry afternoon.
     Graham had taken China out for a walk, and I was in the living room, reading the Radio Times while ignoring the Formula 1 Testing session on the TV in the background.
     Then suddenly I heard the sounds of a helicopter, or some flying machine coming low overhead. This does happen regularly, so wasn't a huge cause for concern, although this did seem particularly loud and therefore close. The regular beats of the rotors were pulsing very close by.
     Hang on they were now being mixed with the sound of crockery and glass. And it wasn't outside, it was coming from the kitchen.
     Oh my Goddess! The back door to the garden was wide open, as it usually is from sunrise to sunset during the summer, there was someone in the kitchen - and they were ransacking the place!
     I hurried through to the kitchen,  hoping that my sudden appearance would make whoever it was take fright and run away. To be honest, the thought that they might not run away didn't occur to me.
     So I went in to the kitchen, expecting to see an intruder.
     And there they were!
    A pigeon was in the small window above the sink, a window stuffed with small tasteful nick-nacks in porcelain and glass, and was attempting to beat its way out through the glass while flailing madly with wings and feet and sending afore-mentioned nick-nacks flying and ricochetting around the kitchen and off the crockery stacking in the drying tray.
     It must have flown in through the open kitchen door and being a bird of little brain, and in a panic, instead of flying out again was trying to dig its way to freedom through the window.
     I tried to reach it, but I am only short and the nearest I could get to it was its tail. So I carefully tried pulling it towards me and ended up with a fist full of feathers.
    The pigeon looked sideways at me, and I looked sideways at the pigeon, and both of us decided there was no way I could reach it to get it outside. So I went for plan B - leave the kitchen, shut the kitchen door behind me (leaving the outside door open still) to make sure the bird couldn't get any further into the house and wait for Graham to come home.

    When Graham arrived home with China, It took him all of two minutes - including the swearing - to capture the pigeon (now in the front kitchen window) and put it outside on the lawn. It flew off none the worse for the experience - apart from the loss of a few tail feathers.
   
     So much for a peaceful Friday afternoon off work.