Friday, 28 April 2017

Literally ....

Graham is a very straight forward kind of chap. He doesn't do subtlety.
    This means that over the years I have eventually learnt that it is no good giving him hints about what I would like, as these are inevitably ignored.
     So if I say something like 'It is a shame there are no chocolates in the house.' all I will get is an agreement. What I need to do is write in big letters on the shopping list 'CHOCOLATES'. That sort of hint gets Graham's attention and may well produce a result.
     Unless he gets distracted by beer, of course. Or loses the shopping list. Or forgets to look at it.
     We have been together now thirty-eight years, so you would think I would know and remember that he is also very literal minded. So I have to be careful how I phrase things too.
    This morning I forgot. Which is why we now have carrots scattering the back lawn.
     This morning Graham decided that the carrots in the bottom of the fridge were past their best and was going to bin them. But I like to try and compost stuff like that, so I said:
    'Rather than putting them in the bin, can you chuck them on the back garden?'
     Now what I had imagined would happen is that Graham would take the carrots and go out into the back garden, beyond the fire pit and behind the comfrey, where there is a wild and nettley bit of garden, where grass clippings etc get emptied.
     What I did not expect was for Graham to stand at the back door and literally throw the carrots out into the back garden, in a 'whee!' moment of exuberance.
     They do look quite pretty against the green

     And I have just realised why they are still there.
    When I saw them scattered over the lawn, I explained to Graham what I had expected him to do with them. And he said 'Oh!'
    What I should then have said is 'So will you go pick them up and put them in the nettley bit?'
    I forgot the instruction bit.

     Eventually, between the two of us, the carrots will get removed from the lawn and put on the compost heap. And peace will be restored.