Hello, Raven...?

The hazards and delights of answering the phone:

Hello, Raven... ?
Is that the Post Office?

Hello, Raven... ?
Can I speak to whoever deals with (insert any of the following):
your fleet requirements,
your company health insurance,
your internet package,
your power supply,
your deisel requirements
etc., etc.,

Hello Raven...?
Do you sell joss sticks?

Hello Raven... ?
Can I speak to Mark?
There is no one of that name here.
There must be, he gave me this number!
01482 632512?
Oh, sorry, I've got a digit wrong

Hello Raven ... ?
I'm ringing to check if you have the correct thickness of loft insulation

Hello Raven... ?
This is the last time we shall contact you about your PPI compensation claim
(That is a promise which gets your hopes up - but I've had the same call at least half a dozen times in the last three days.'

Hello Raven ... ?
I know exactly what you mean!
Pardon?
Oh sorry, I was talking to my mate

Hello Raven ...?
Can I ask you about a spell working?
Go ahead :)

Hello Raven ...?
Do you hate cleaning your cooker?

Hello Raven ... ?
I'm ringing about your facia boards

Hello Raven... ?
Can I speak to Maria
Sorry we don't have a Maria here
Is that the town council?

And finally the ones we look forward to:
Hello Raven ...?
Hi, Can I place an order please?...